ON TESCO’S TIRIMISU DESSERT Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER
TOP 8 OLD FOLKS PARTY GAMES Sag, You’re It! Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy 20 Questions Shouted into
These are actual lines from military performance appraisals or Officer Efficiency Reports (OERs). Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Okay, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast. But did you know that: 660: Approximate number
Include Your Children when Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down
Actual Newspaper Ads and Classifieds: 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR
Actual questions asked to park officials at various National Parks: Grand Canyon National Park: Was this man-made? Do you light
From the Washington Post Invitational contest, Merge-Matic Books: Readers were asked to combine the works of two authors, and to
In large companies, it’s obviously important that memoranda contain lots of important buzzwords. What the memos actually say isn’t particularly
Some of these are old, but they were all actual laws not too long ago! In Nichols County, West Virginia,
Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords… “The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is
We’ve all been interviewed for jobs. And, we’ve all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do.
MONDAYS: 8:00 “Husseinfeld” 8:30 “Mad About Everything” 9:00 “Suddenly Sanctions” 9:30 “The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show” 10:00 “Allah McBeal”
BELL ATLANTIC RESTAURANT 1095 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10036 800-621-9900 BELL ATLANTIC RESTAURANT SERVICES Cod steak $8.17
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that “If
If IBM made toasters… They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting.
Hymns, the way we’d sing them if we were honest: I Surrender Some There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings Fill
I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some
No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites:
ACTUAL answers given by contestants on “The Family Feud” Name something a blind person might use A sword Name a
I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit. Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either! Madness
Doctors may not say exactly what they mean… The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians.
Snail-Sucking (Live) Armand Forcalquier, of Marseille, France, holds the record. In a contest held on Feb. 12, 1992, Armand sucked
A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, “SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD.” The article went on to describe
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government
You Are Different and That’s Bad Pop! Goes The Hamster… And Other Great Microwave Games Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household
A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of
From actual Church Bulletins…….. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used
Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can