From the Washington Post Invitational contest, Merge-Matic Books: Readers were asked to combine the works of two authors, and to provide a suitable description of the merged book.
“Machiavelli’s The Little Prince” –
Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s classic children’s tale as presented by Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.
“Green Eggs and Hamlet” –
Would you kill him in his bed? Thrust a dagger through his head? I would not, could not, kill the King. I could not do that evil thing. I would not wed this girl, you see. Now get her to a nunnery.
“Where’s Walden?” –
Alas, the challenge of locating Henry David Thoreau in each richly-detailed drawing loses its appeal when it quickly becomes clear that he is always in the woods.
“Catch-22 in the Rye” –
Holden learns that if you’re insane, you’ll probably flunk out of prep school, but if you’re flunking out of prep school, you’re probably not insane.
“2001: A Space Iliad”-
The Hal 9000 computer wages an insane10-year war against the Greeks after falling victim to the Y2K bug.
Thor Heyerdahl recounts his attempt to prove Rudyard Kipling’s theory that the mongoose first came to India on a raft from Polynesia.
“The Maltese Faulkner” –
Is the black bird a tortured symbol of Sam’s struggles with race and family? Does it signify his decay of soul along with the soul of the Old South? Is it merely a crow, mocking his attempts to understand? Or is it worth a cool mil?
“Jane Eyre Jordan” –
Plucky English orphan girl survives hardships to lead the Chicago Bulls to the NBA championship.
“Looking for Mr. Godot”-
A young woman waits for Mr. Right to enter her life. She has a loooong wait.
“The Scarlet Pimpernel Letter” –
An 18th-century English nobleman leads a double life, freeing comely young adulteresses from the prisons of post-Revolution France.
“Lorna Dune” –
An English farmer, Paul Atreides, falls for the daughter of a notorious rival clan, the Harkonnens, and pursues a career as a giant worm jockey in order to impress her.
“The Remains of the Day of the Jackal” –
A formal English butler puts his loyalty to his employer above all else, until he is persuaded to join a plot to assassinate Charles deGaulle.
“The Invisible Man of La Mancha”-
Don Quixote discovers a mysterious elixir which renders him invisible. He proceeds to go on a mad rampage of corruption and terror, attacking innocent people in the streets and all the while singing “To fight the Invisible Man!” until he is finally stopped by a windmill.
“Of Three Blind Mice and Men” –
Burgess Meredith has his limbs hacked off by a psychopathic farmer’s wife. Did you ever see such a sight in your life?
“Planet of the Grapes of Wrath” –
Astronaut lands on mysterious planet, only to discover that it is his very own home planet of Earth, which has been taken over by the Joads, a race of dirt-poor corn farmers who miraculously developed rudimentary technology and regained the ability to speak after exposure to nuclear radiation.
“Paradise Lost in Space”-
Satan, Moloch, and Belial are sentenced to spend eternity in a flying saucer with a goofy robot, an evil scientist, and two annoying children.
“The Exorstentialist” –
Camus psychological thriller about a priest who casts out a demon by convincing it that there’s really no purpose to what it’s doing.