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36 Extremely Funny Bumper Stickers

  1. I don’t have a license to kill.  I have a learner’s permit.
  2. Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!
  3. Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change.
  4. EARTH FIRST!  We’ll strip mine the other planets later.
  5. If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
  6. Save the whales!  Trade them for valuable prizes.
  7. Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
  8. My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her… or something like that.
  9. Sure you can trust the government!  Just ask an Indian!
  10. Alcohol and calculus don’t mix.  Never drink and derive.
  11. If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.
  12. Stop repeat offenders.  Don’t re-elect them!
  13. If You Can Read This, I’ve Lost My Trailer.
  14. You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
  15. The Earth Is Full – Go Home
  16. I Have The Body Of A God… Buddha
  17. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me
  18. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
  19. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
  20. The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name
  21. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
  22. Honk If Anything Falls Off
  23. Cover Me, I’m Changing Lanes
  24. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
  25. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
  26. You!  Out Of The Gene Pool!
  27. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
  28. It’s Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
  29. I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
  30. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over. (Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep)
  31. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
  32. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
  33. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
  34. Boldly Going Nowhere
  35. Honk If You’ve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
  36. Money Isn’t Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
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