- What do you use those rubber gloves for, anyway?
- So that’s what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone means.
- How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
- Hey, wasn’t your daughter a porn queen?
- Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
- You’ll never get those cuffs on me!
- On the way to the station let’s get a six pack, oh don’t forget the cig’s.
- I know I was waving but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
- But officer, I’ve got two different drivers licenses from two different states! Pick one.
- Back off, Barney, I’ve got a piece.
- No, I don’t know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110mph.
- No, offi, offic, lucifer… I’m not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
- If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
- I’m surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has 3 for 1 special!
- No, you assume the position.
For more things you should say when pulled over, check out 11 more things not to say when getting pulled over.
