Category: Quotes

Every sixty seconds in Africa, there will be one minute passed People who drink every day, there is a high probability of dying in 100 years If you breathe for 60 seconds, your

Life’s challenges can seem almost insurmountable at times. And things appear to be getting not only harder, but weirder as well. One seeks inspiration and turns to the Bible, the

“Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the

I got some bad news today. You know the money you get from those ATM machines? All that money comes from your account! Sharon Grubb I don’t care how much

Lawrence Welk’s mastery of English was not quite 100%. Here are some examples of his “Welkisms”, compiled by Dick Wilson, a sound mixer who worked on “The Lawrence Welk Show”

Actual questions asked of Weird Al by fans, and his responses taken from the “Ask Al” section of www.weirdal.com Q: Hey Al!!!!! What do u think about Napster?  I just

The following are actual quotes from Texas politicians: Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to go into the state treasury: “It just makes good sense

And here’s Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago.” (David Coleman) “Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs.”

With any kind of physical test, I don’t know what it is, I always seem to get competitive. Remember when you were in school and they’d do those hearing tests?

(Not Printed In Newspapers) DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve One is a middle-aged gym

Scientific Facts – at least in the minds of kids: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. You can

Questions about love, marriage, and sex were posed to kids ages 5 to 10. Their answers below are enlightening: WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?? Eighty-four! Because at

GROUCHO MARX HAD SOME OF THE BEST LINES… Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? I have nothing but respect for you, and not much of

“He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife. “ “The ships hung

From a little book called “Disorder in the Court.” (Things people actually said – word for word – in courts of law) Q: What is your date of birth? A:

A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert Quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submissions: As of tomorrow,

Top Ten of the Silliest Questions Asked by Cruise Ship Passengers (by Paul Grayson, Cruise Director for Royal Caribbean Cruise Line) Do these steps go up or down? What do

“I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, ‘You’ll never find anyone like me again!’ I’m thinking, ‘I should hope not! If I

Winners of the “worst analogies ever written in a high school essay” contest: The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. (Russell Beland,

Ads In Bills: Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren’t distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with