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Category: Lists

Collections of one-liners, top tens, and other amusing lists.

26 Pranks To Do in An Elevator

March 9, 2015 Laugh Break Lists Leave a comment

When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.

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25 Actual Things Kids Said or Wrote While in Sunday School

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Here’s a list of actual things kids said or wrote while in Sunday school (certificate of authenticity on file… somewhere):

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18 Hilarious English Subtitles Used in Hong Kong Movies

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Actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here? I’ll fire

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Stella Awards

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In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $ 2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck, who suffered third-degree

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And Speaking Of Intelligence…

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You’re too stupid to lead… AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”.  He received

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thing To Ponder

Things to Ponder [66 hilarious things to ponder about!]

March 9, 2015 Laugh Break Lists One comment

Here are the 66 random things to ponder about… Sweet meets are candy, but sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. Quicksand

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Rules for Bank Robbers

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According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are “unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,” committed by young male repeat offenders. They

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39 Ridiculous Resume and Cover Letter Mistakes

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These are reportedly taken from real resumes and cover letters. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and

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Parental Excuses

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These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling): My son is under a doctor’s care and should not

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18 Unnecessary Package Instructions

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ON TESCO’S TIRIMISU DESSERT Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER

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Old Folks’ Party Games

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TOP 8 OLD FOLKS PARTY GAMES Sag, You’re It! Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy 20 Questions Shouted into

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Officer Efficiency Reports

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These are actual lines from military performance appraisals or Officer Efficiency Reports (OERs). Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

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Numbers Of The Beast

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Okay, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast. But did you know that: 660: Approximate number

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50 Hilarious Newspaper Headlines Gone Wrong

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Include Your Children when Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down

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Newspaper Ads

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Actual Newspaper Ads and Classifieds: 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer AMANA WASHER $100.  OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR

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National Park Questions

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Actual questions asked to park officials at various National Parks: Grand Canyon National Park: Was this man-made? Do you light

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Merged Book Contest Winners

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From the Washington Post Invitational contest, Merge-Matic Books:  Readers were asked to combine the works of two authors, and to

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Management Communications 101

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In large companies, it’s obviously important that memoranda contain lots of important buzzwords.  What the memos actually say isn’t particularly

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25 Loony Laws

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Some of these are old, but they were all actual laws not too long ago! In Nichols County, West Virginia,

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Landlord Letters

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Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords… “The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is

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39 Unusual Behavior by Job Applicants

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We’ve all been interviewed for jobs.  And, we’ve all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. 

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Iraqui TV Guide

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MONDAYS: 8:00 “Husseinfeld” 8:30 “Mad About Everything” 9:00 “Suddenly Sanctions” 9:30 “The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show” 10:00 “Allah McBeal”

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If The Phone Company Ran A Restaurant

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BELL ATLANTIC RESTAURANT 1095 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10036 800-621-9900 BELL ATLANTIC RESTAURANT SERVICES Cod steak $8.17

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If Microsoft Built Cars

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At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that “If

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If Everyone Made Toasters

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If IBM made toasters… They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. 

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Honest Hymns

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Hymns, the way we’d sing them if we were honest: I Surrender Some There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings Fill

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Getting Old

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I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a

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Fun With Telemarketers

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If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some

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Fractured Christmas Carols

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No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites:

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Family Feud Losers

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ACTUAL answers given by contestants on “The Family Feud” Name something a blind person might use A sword Name a

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