Me: I wish for a world without lawyers Genie: Done, you have no more wishes Me: But you said 3
Category: Clean Jokes
100% clean jokes and hilarious stories. Some are true, some are not, but they’re all really funny jokes. You can tell those clean jokes for school, the office and family gatherings without getting into trouble.
Three men are arrested and sentenced to death by firing squad, one by one.
While they wait to be executed they come up with a plan. Right before they are to be shot, each
A married man was having an affair with his secretary
One day, a man was having an affair with his secretary in her house. Feeling tired, they fell asleep and
Weapon of Choice
Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he’d
Boiling Water (A Conversation Between The Scientist and The Student)
The scientist, “I just boiled water.” The student, “Solid!” The scientist, “No! Boiling water is liquid!” The student, “I just
Bird Lovers
Each evening, a bird lover stood in his backyard and hooting like an owl. Then one night, an owl called
Old-Timers Talk about Their Aches and Pains
At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior citizens was sitting around talking about their aches and pains.
Woke up to the sound of lawn mowing
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figured he’ll just have to mow
Do you have kids?
A doctor is examing a woman and he asks, “Do you have kids?” The woman replies, “Yes, I have three
Best Interview Hack
Interviewer, “What’s your name?” Me, “Hired.” Interviewer, “You’re hired?” My response, “Thank you, sir!”
Rebel against his father
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of
The kid is having a nightmare
A man goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight. He fins his son is having a nightmare. So
Drunk guy walks into a bar
A drunk guy walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a shot of Wild Turkey, please.” The bartender says, “I’m
10 pints of beer in 2 minutes
An old man walks into a bar and slams a bag of gold coins down, addresses the customers by saying, “I’ll
Are you cheating on your tests?
In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, “Johnny I have
Driving the drunk secretary home
Mr. Jones drove his secretary home after she had had a little too much to drink at their new year’s
Everything men know about women
Not sure how true is this book… There should be 13 volumes!
Most valued employee gone missing
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees wasn’t in and had not phoned in sick one day.
Explain what the government Is to A Kid
A little kid has a report due for government class. He asks his dad to explain what the government is.
Going to the bookstore
One day, I went to a bookstore and asked the staff, “Where’s the self-help section?” Then the staff smiled and
What will you be doing in 2020!
I hate it when people ask me what I’ll be doing this year! Come on, guys! I don’t have a
Windows Frozen in Cold Winter
Wife texts her husband on a cold winter morning, ” Windows frozen, won’t open.” Here husband texts back, “Gently pour
Learning How to Sell
The kids filed back into class Monday morning and they were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something,
No, you’re great!
My wife sent me a text, “Your great.” So, naturally, I wrote back, “No, you’re great!” She’s been walking around
Why spoke so softly in the house
My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was
Pull over by the police
A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind
Herding the sheep
A farmer comes home to find his sheepdog waiting for him. The sheepdog says: “I herded the sheep into the
A rabbit opens a public musical restroom in the forest.
A rabbit opens a public musical restroom in the forest. The animals are all queuing to try it. First comes
How God Created Us
On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark
An faithful man died and went to heaven.
An elderly, faithful man died and went to heaven. When he arrived, God said, “Welcome, John! Your wife has been waiting
