Shoplifter at a jewelry store
The manager of a jewelry store nabs a shoplifter trying to steal a necklace. “Listen,” the shoplifter says, “you don’t want any trouble, and neither do I. What do you
Category: Clean Jokes
100% clean jokes and hilarious stories. Some are true, some are not, but they’re all really funny jokes. You can tell those clean jokes for school, the office and family gatherings without getting into trouble.
Traffic Camera Fun
A man was driving when he first saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for speeding, even though he knew he wasn’t.
Rude Cashier
A man and his wife rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with
Baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home
It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, “How was your journey?” The
Getting a dog for protection
A woman had decided to get a dog for protection. She inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn’t like men.” Perfect, she thought and took the dog.
Preparing for the prom
A teacher overheard the student’s conversation. Teen girl to Friend, “For the prom, I’m renting a limo, spending $500 on a new dress and bringing in the best makeup artist in
Your dog in trouble!
A police had a knock at a man’s door earlier… The police, “Sir!” The man, “Yes?” The police, “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone
Silent and deadly
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s
Buying his wife a diamond ring for Christmas
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hear about his extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty
Mother meets her daughter-in-law at the dinner
He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived
Don’t want to go to school today
“Dad, I don’t want to go to school today,” said the boy.” “Why not, son?” the dad replied. The boy said, “Well, one of the chickens on the school farm
A boy got punished for something he did not do
One day, a boy came home running while crying. His mother was concerned and asked what happened. The boy said, “I got punished for something I did not do!” His
A pair of genuine alligator shoes
A woman wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes but didn’t want to pay a fortune for them. So she headed out to the swamp, determined to catch herself
A stupid robber
A man was pulled over by the police on the highway for speeding. The cop instructed the man to roll down his window. “Were you aware of how fast you
FBI interview test
After all the background checks, interviews and testing were complete, the FBI had narrowed the field down to five possible agents. For the final, the FBI interviewers took one of
Driving too slow in the highway
A State Police Officer is sitting on the side of the highway and waiting to catch speeding drivers. Then he sees a car driving at 22 MPH. He thinks to
Bury me with my money
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He
My favorite animal
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me
Sleepy old dog
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly
The bus driver is unhappy with his passenger
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops, a few people got
Three drunk guys get into a taxi
Three drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your
Can I have an animal cracker?
“Mom, can I have an animal cracker?” asked 3-year-old Bob. “Sure Bob,” said his mom. “Open up the box, and take a few.” Forty-five minutes later Bob’s mother walked into the kitchen.
First time driver
Joe had just received his brand new driver’s license. He is going to take them for a ride for the first time. So, the family troops out to the driveway and
A man at the customs
A man is visiting Australia. The man at customs asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The man replies, “I didn’t think you’d need one to get into Australia anymore.”
The wife smashes her husband with a frying pan
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, “What was that for?”
Bacon Tree in the desert
There are two guys who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they’re at death’s door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis
Reviving his marriage
Brian had asked Dave to help him out with cutting his rather large garden hedge after work, so Dave went straight over to Brian’s home. When they got to the
Arguing in the hotel room
Husband calls up hotel management from the room. The husband said, “Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump from your
Do you need directions?
Friend #1, “Are you visiting us tomorrow? Do you need directions?” Friend #2, “I’m all set. I have the address, a GPS and a GPS override.” Friend #1, “What’s a
Taking her dog on board
A woman called our airline customer service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. “Sure,” The customer service representative said, “as long as you provide your own
