Category: Clean Jokes

“Tommy, where’s your homework”? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. “My dog ate it”, was his solemn response. “Tommy, I’ve been a teacher

A little boy had to take care of his baby sister while his mum and dad went for grocery shopping. To pass the time he decided to go fishing and

An elderly man calls his son and says, “I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce;

A Bear, a Lion, and a Chicken meet…. Bear says, “If I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear.” Lion says, “If I roar in the desert, the

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice – picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some

A couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed

An old man limped into the doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!” The doctor slowly checked him from head to toe, paused

A science teacher asked her students, “Children! If you could own one mineral what would it be? One boy said, “I would choose gold. Its worth lots of money and

A hunter shoots a deer and is pulling it back to his truck A farmer passes by and says, “Hey, you shot that deer on my property. That makes that deer

A vacuum salesman appeared at the door of an old lady’s cottage and, without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says, “I wanna be a billionaire. Going to the most expensive clubs with the girl

A sweet grandmother called the hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I’ll be

An arrogant professor boards a plane and gets a seat beside an old man. During the mid-flight, the professor decides to play a game with the old man to prove

9 bench in Miami. They had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over a dozen years. One day, the younger of the two ladies turn to the

A man in the bar offers to bet anyone $100 that his dog can talk. At first, everyone is dubious, but after the man clarifies he means complete grammatically correct

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.” “But

A man is sitting on his front stoop staring sadly at the ground when his neighbor strolls over. The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older

An elderly lady finished her shopping. Upon returning to the parking lot, she found four men in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun. She screamed

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, so he politely asked, “What

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is

The woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to,

The manager of a jewelry store nabs a shoplifter trying to steal a necklace. “Listen,” the shoplifter says, “you don’t want any trouble, and neither do I. What do you

A man was driving when he first saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for speeding, even though he knew he wasn’t.

A man and his wife rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with

It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, “How was your journey?” The

A woman had decided to get a dog for protection. She inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn’t like men.” Perfect, she thought and took the dog.

A teacher overheard the student’s conversation. Teen girl to Friend, “For the prom, I’m renting a limo, spending $500 on a new dress and bringing in the best makeup artist in

A police had a knock at a man’s door earlier… The police, “Sir!” The man, “Yes?” The police, “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hear about his extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty