Author: Laugh Break

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand. An

Actual reference queries reported by American and Canadian library reference desk workers of various levels. “Do you have books here?”

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during

You know you’ve been drinking way too much coffee when… Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. You haven’t blinked

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? Chaos, panic, & disorder — my work here is done. How do I

During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All telephone numbers in

When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.

Here’s a list of actual things kids said or wrote while in Sunday school (certificate of authenticity on file… somewhere):

Actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here? I’ll fire

In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $ 2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck, who suffered third-degree

You’re too stupid to lead… AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”.  He received

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are “unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,” committed by young male repeat offenders. They

These are reportedly taken from real resumes and cover letters. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and

These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling): My son is under a doctor’s care and should not

ON TESCO’S TIRIMISU DESSERT Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER

TOP 8 OLD FOLKS PARTY GAMES Sag, You’re It! Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy 20 Questions Shouted into

These are actual lines from military performance appraisals or Officer Efficiency Reports (OERs). Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Okay, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast. But did you know that: 660: Approximate number

Include Your Children when Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down

Actual Newspaper Ads and Classifieds: 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer AMANA WASHER $100.  OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR

Actual questions asked to park officials at various National Parks: Grand Canyon National Park: Was this man-made? Do you light

From the Washington Post Invitational contest, Merge-Matic Books:  Readers were asked to combine the works of two authors, and to

In large companies, it’s obviously important that memoranda contain lots of important buzzwords.  What the memos actually say isn’t particularly