A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says, “I wanna be a billionaire. Going to the most expensive clubs with the girl
People are 1% Shorter in the evening than in the morning. This is because during normal activities during the day the cartilage in our knees and intervertebral discs slowly compress. When
A sweet grandmother called the hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I’ll be
Tiramisu means “Pick Me Up” in Italian. Yummy!
A lethal dose of caffeine is about 50 double espressos! There is a lot of coffee!
An arrogant professor boards a plane and gets a seat beside an old man. During the mid-flight, the professor decides to play a game with the old man to prove
9 bench in Miami. They had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over a dozen years. One day, the younger of the two ladies turn to the
A man in the bar offers to bet anyone $100 that his dog can talk. At first, everyone is dubious, but after the man clarifies he means complete grammatically correct
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.” “But
A man is sitting on his front stoop staring sadly at the ground when his neighbor strolls over. The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older
We wonder if this is intended to be a clever joke or they really see a smoking dog around the park…
An elderly lady finished her shopping. Upon returning to the parking lot, she found four men in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun. She screamed
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, so he politely asked, “What
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is
The woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to,
The manager of a jewelry store nabs a shoplifter trying to steal a necklace. “Listen,” the shoplifter says, “you don’t want any trouble, and neither do I. What do you
A man was driving when he first saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for speeding, even though he knew he wasn’t.
A man and his wife rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with
It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, “How was your journey?” The
A woman had decided to get a dog for protection. She inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn’t like men.” Perfect, she thought and took the dog.
A teacher overheard the student’s conversation. Teen girl to Friend, “For the prom, I’m renting a limo, spending $500 on a new dress and bringing in the best makeup artist in
A police had a knock at a man’s door earlier… The police, “Sir!” The man, “Yes?” The police, “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hear about his extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty
He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived
“Dad, I don’t want to go to school today,” said the boy.” “Why not, son?” the dad replied. The boy said, “Well, one of the chickens on the school farm
One day, a boy came home running while crying. His mother was concerned and asked what happened. The boy said, “I got punished for something I did not do!” His
A woman wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes but didn’t want to pay a fortune for them. So she headed out to the swamp, determined to catch herself
A man was pulled over by the police on the highway for speeding. The cop instructed the man to roll down his window. “Were you aware of how fast you
After all the background checks, interviews and testing were complete, the FBI had narrowed the field down to five possible agents. For the final, the FBI interviewers took one of