Weird Al Q&A

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Actual questions asked of Weird Al by fans, and his responses taken from the “Ask Al” section of www.weirdal.com

Q: Hey Al!!!!! What do u think about Napster?  I just want to know if you approve.
A: I have very mixed feelings about it.  On one hand, I’m concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career.  On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE!  WOW!!!!!
 
Q: What is the first thing you notice about a person?
A: Whether or not they’re on fire.
 
Q: Hey Al, why don’t you use a headset microphone on stage instead of the regular microphones?
A: I’m afraid people will confuse me with Garth Brooks.
 
Q: Al, my accordion teacher says that a 96-bass accordion is enough – what would you recommend?
A: Sure, a 96-bass accordion is enough… if you’re a WIMP!  Real men only play 120-bass accordions!
 
Q: If and when you have children, will they also be weird?  For instance, would you name your son Weird Walter or your daughter Weird Wendy?
A: No, that would be kind of cruel, don’t you think?  I mean, who in their right mind would name their kid Walter?
 
Q: I was just wondering, was there a specific reason why you chose to write the song “My Baby’s in Love With Eddie Vedder” about Eddie Vedder?
A: Well, with a title like that, it would have been pretty stupid if I wrote the song about somebody else, wouldn’t it?
 
Q: The live video Rocks!!!!  Will you ever make a live album?
A: Here’s a little secret – I’ve already released a live album!  In fact, it’s secretly encoded in every single copy of the “‘Weird Al’ Yankovic – Live!” video.  All you have to do to access it is to put the video in your VCR, press “Play,” and then turn your head away from the TV so that you can’t see the screen.  Voila!  Live album!
 
Q: Have you ever thought of recording an album under a different name the way that Garth Brooks did with his Chris Gaines album?
A: Yes, I’ve been releasing cheesy new age albums under the name “Yanni” for years.  It started out as a joke, but people have just been eating it up!
 
Q: What is your biggest fear during a live prefomance?
A: Being attacked by rabid wolverines.
 
Q: How do you and the band, as warm-climate natives, manage to survive and stay warm when touring the northern U.S and Canada?
A: When we go outside, we put on jackets.
 
Q: Why did you shave?
A: I thought it would be the easiest way to get rid of my moustache.
 
Q: Here in England it’s absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to obtain your videos.  How can I remedy this problem?
A: Move.
 
Q: Who was your favorite New Kid on the Block?
A: Sneezy.
 
Q: were you and Victoria Jackson ever more than just friends?
A: Yes.  During the filming of “UHF,” we were also co-stars!
 
Q: Why was your video “Jurassic Park” in claymation?
A: It’s just too hard to find real live dinosaurs these days.
 
Q: I was just admiring the artwork on your debut album when I noticed something.  All of the songs on the album have a drawing associated with them on the cover.  Am I the only one who has noticed this?
A: No, I noticed it a long time ago.
 
Q: Looking at the video for “The Saga Begins,” I noticed that Al’s hands didn’t change key while playing the guitar.  Is this because Al doesn’t play the guitar, and just wanted it for show?
A: No no no.  I was using a very special kind of Jedi tuning.  Extremely difficult to master.  I wouldn’t expect you to know that, though.
 
Q: The new James Bond movie is called “The World Is Not Enough”.  Now, take the first letter in each of those words.  TWINE.  Any thoughts?
A: Yes.  You really need to get out more often.
 
Q: Why aren’t any of the of the songs from “Bad Hair Day” on Greatest Hits?
A: You know, we WOULD have put them on there, except for the fact that “Bad Hair Day” came out several years after “Greatest Hits.”
 
Q: Can you name any of the songs on your new album?
A: Yes, I can name all of them.
 
Q: Do you have a nasty habit?
A: Yes, I have a nasty habit of giving flip, stupid answers to perfectly reasonable questions.
 
Q: What is the average reaction from a person at McDonalds when you walk in the door and order food?
A: “Would you like fries with that?”
 
Q: Can i sing with you?
A: Sure, go ahead.
 
Q: I am very interested in becoming a vegan (a vegetarian at least).  Can you give me any advice?
A: Don’t eat meat.
 
Q: What did you used to dress up as on Halloween and what was your favorite costume?
A: The one Halloween costume that sticks out in my mind was “Broccoli Man.”  I strung raw broccoli on fishing line and wrapped myself in it, then put on a green cape and stuck a big letter “B” on my forehead.  I remember I had to leave the party after about half an hour because I started smelling so bad.
 
Q: Who would you say is your biggest competitor?
A: Fabio.
 
Q: Do you like the ocean or the mountains better?
A: It depends.  I like the ocean better for swimming, but I prefer mountains when I’m climbing.
 
Q: Are you afraid of spiders?  Do you have any phobias?
A: Now that you mention it, sometimes I get really creeped out when I wake up in the morning and my mouth is full of spiders.  Yuck.
 
Q: Has anything ever happened to you that nobody believed when you tried telling people about it later?
A: I still can’t get anybody to believe that Elvis came to my house in the middle of the night and mowed my lawn.
 
Q: Do you know the Italian language?
A: I only know a couple of handy catchphrases, like the translation for “Won’t you please shave off my eyebrows?”
 
Q: Have you ever released music under an alias?
A: Yes, for the last several years, I’ve been releasing lame instrumental albums under the name “Kenny G.”