A girl goes to the doctor and tells him that she has been extremely moody lately and can’t control her temper. He suggests, “Sounds like stress. You should try getting
Only 1 in 2,000,000,000 will live to be 116 or older. Not sure I want to live that long…
Florida is the only place on Earth you can be eaten by an alligator, a shark, a crocodile, or some dude hopped up on drugs.
I am really confused what is so special about this picture :)
A guy walks into a bar and sits at a table. Tells the waitress, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary and a menu.” When she returns with his drink, he asks
A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the police came up to
Pokemon Go is really addictive…
A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps. A plateau is the highest form of flattery. I removed
I am not sure I can shop in Target anymore… :)
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says, “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.” The woman answered, “Well, I have contacts.” The
I will pick the single ones please~~
The feeling when you first wake up but don’t have to get out of bed yet. It might not be sexual, but having your hair played with. Taking a big
That is a tough decision… Not!
That… seems legit…
Boy calls 911. Boy, “Hello? I need your help!” 911, “Alright, what is it?” Boy, “Two girls are fighting over me!” 911, “So what’s your emergency?” Boy, “The ugly one
I see what you did there! Very clever!
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the color of happiness, and today is
An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband: “I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I
Thanks, I guess I will not touch that….
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible. I look old, fat and
Give me ten rolls please!
Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost. While his father
Or have common sense…
READ THIS OUT LOUD: This is This cat This is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is an cat This is idiot
Because dog bites…
A man and woman are sleeping in together when suddenly there is a noise in the house. The woman rolls over and says: “It’s my husband, you have to leave!” The
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?”, she asked. “Hunting files,” he responded. “Oh! Killing any?” she
I am pretty sure I will not be confused… I am pretty sure…