An elderly couple to decide to live a little and go to McDonald’s. When they order the food, the old man divides the fries in half and splits the burger
False advertisement in your face!
An office worker opened his pay envelope to find his check was short $100. He called the accounting department to voice his complaint. “You’re right, we made a mistake,” said
She will be surprised for all of the wrong reasons…
Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday. Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime? Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How
I hope one feed those to their babies!
There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?” The man says, “I found out
For some reason, this breed of dog looks like cats…
Three men walk into a bar. The barman tells them, “If you can sit in my basement for a day, I’ll give you free beer forever.” The first man walks
Hobbit Day is the birthday of the hobbits Bilbo and Frodo Baggins, two fictional characters in J. R. R. Tolkien’s popular set of books The Hobbit and The Lord of
I am pretty sure that is a bad idea…
I don’t notice that at all. Tempted to test it on my cat… (Joking)
A girl goes to the doctor and tells him that she has been extremely moody lately and can’t control her temper. He suggests, “Sounds like stress. You should try getting
Only 1 in 2,000,000,000 will live to be 116 or older. Not sure I want to live that long…
Florida is the only place on Earth you can be eaten by an alligator, a shark, a crocodile, or some dude hopped up on drugs.
I am really confused what is so special about this picture :)
A guy walks into a bar and sits at a table. Tells the waitress, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary and a menu.” When she returns with his drink, he asks
A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the police came up to
Pokemon Go is really addictive…
A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps. A plateau is the highest form of flattery. I removed
I am not sure I can shop in Target anymore… :)
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says, “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.” The woman answered, “Well, I have contacts.” The
I will pick the single ones please~~
The feeling when you first wake up but don’t have to get out of bed yet. It might not be sexual, but having your hair played with. Taking a big
That is a tough decision… Not!
That… seems legit…
Boy calls 911. Boy, “Hello? I need your help!” 911, “Alright, what is it?” Boy, “Two girls are fighting over me!” 911, “So what’s your emergency?” Boy, “The ugly one
I see what you did there! Very clever!