Andy Rooney On…

Ads In Bills: Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren’t distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with

Who’s Who?

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand. An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets

Trial Questions

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful

Stella Awards

In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $ 2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck, who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin, and buttocks after spilling a

And Speaking Of Intelligence…

You’re too stupid to lead… AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”.  He received a $26 million severance package.  Maybe it’s not Walter who’s

Rules for Bank Robbers

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are “unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,” committed by young male repeat offenders. They apparently don’t know the first thing about their business. For

Parental Excuses

These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling): My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. Please excuse Lisa for

Officer Efficiency Reports

These are actual lines from military performance appraisals or Officer Efficiency Reports (OERs). Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn’t watching.

Newspaper Ads

Actual Newspaper Ads and Classifieds: 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer AMANA WASHER $100.  OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED. SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE… ONLY USED ON

Merged Book Contest Winners

From the Washington Post Invitational contest, Merge-Matic Books:  Readers were asked to combine the works of two authors, and to provide a suitable description of the merged book. “Machiavelli’s The

Management Communications 101

In large companies, it’s obviously important that memoranda contain lots of important buzzwords.  What the memos actually say isn’t particularly important;  if it were really important, someone would discuss it

25 Loony Laws

Some of these are old, but they were all actual laws no too long ago! In Nichols County, West Virginia, no minister shall tell a funny story from the pulpit.