Lawrence Welk’s mastery of English was not quite 100%. Here are some examples of his “Welkisms”, compiled by Dick Wilson, a sound mixer who worked on “The Lawrence Welk Show”

Weird Al Q&A

Actual questions asked of Weird Al by fans, and his responses taken from the “Ask Al” section of www.weirdal.com Q: Hey Al!!!!! What do u think about Napster?  I just

Texas Quotes

The following are actual quotes from Texas politicians: Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to go into the state treasury: “It just makes good sense

Sports Quotes

And here’s Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago.” (David Coleman) “Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs.”

Kids On Love

Questions about love, marriage, and sex were posed to kids ages 5 to 10. Their answers below are enlightening: WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?? Eighty-four! Because at

Douglas Adams Quotes

“He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife. “ “The ships hung

Dilbert Quotes

A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert Quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submissions: As of tomorrow,

Andy Rooney On…

Ads In Bills: Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren’t distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with

Who’s Who?

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand. An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets

Trial Questions

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful

Stella Awards

In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $ 2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck, who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin, and buttocks after spilling a