Stuff To Ponder

  • Sweet meets are candy, but sweet breads, which aren’t sweet, are meet.
  • Quicksand works slowly.
  • Boxing rings are square.
  • Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he’ll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
  • Why is it that a writer writes, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, humdingers don’t hum, and hammers don’t ham?
  • If you can make amends, can you just make one amend?
  • If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but just one, what do you call it?
  • Why do you recite at a play but you play at a recital?
  • Why do we ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
  • Why do feet smell and noses run?
  • How can a SLIM CHANCE and a FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and a WISE GUY are opposites?
  • Why is QUITE A FEW the same as QUITE A LOT?
  • How does a building burn up as it burns down?
  • Why do you fill out a form by filling it in?
  • Why does your alarm go off by going on?
  • When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.
  • How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
  • If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes?
  • Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it’s made out of BEEF?
  • Why does SOUR CREAM have an expiration date?
  • What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?
  • IF “Con” is the Opposite of “Pro”, then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?
  • Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients, but DISH WASHING LIQUID contains real lemons?
  • How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn’t grow in it?
  • Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
  • Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to “CURE” it?
  • Why do we wash BATH TOWELS – aren’t we clean when we use them?
  • Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
  • Why doesn’t GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?
  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have an “S” in it?
  • What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
  • If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

For more about stuff to ponder, check out Stuff to Ponder #2 and Stuff to Ponder #3.


This joke is brought to you by: Laught Break  Posted Date: 03/09/2015