Stuff To Ponder

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Stuff To Ponder

  1. Sweet meets are candy, but sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
  2. Quicksand works slowly.
  3. Boxing rings are square.
  4. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he’ll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
  5. Why is it that a writer writes, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, humdingers don’t hum, and hammers don’t ham?
  6. If you can make amends, can you just make one amend?
  7. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but just one, what do you call it?
  8. Why do you recite at a play but you play at a recital?
  9. Why do we ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
  10. Why do feet smell and noses run?
  11. How can a SLIM CHANCE and a FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and a WISE GUY are opposites?
  12. Why is QUITE A FEW the same as QUITE A LOT?
  13. How does a building burn up as it burns down?
  14. Why do you fill out a form by filling it in?
  15. Why does your alarm go off by going on?
  16. When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.
  17. How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
  18. If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes?
  19. Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it’s made out of BEEF?
  20. Why does SOUR CREAM have an expiration date?
  21. What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?
  22. IF “Con” is the Opposite of “Pro”, then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?
  23. Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients, but DISH WASHING LIQUID contains real lemons?
  24. How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn’t grow in it?
  25. Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
  26. Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to “CURE” it?
  27. Why do we wash BATH TOWELS – aren’t we clean when we use them?
  28. Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
  29. Why doesn’t GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?
  30. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?
  31. Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have an “S” in it?
  32. What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
  33. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

For more about stuff to ponder, check out Stuff to Ponder #2 and Stuff to Ponder #3.