Stuff To Ponder #2

  1. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
  2. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  3. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  4. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
  5. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
  6. Why is it that we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
  7. Where do homeless people have 90% of their accidents?
  8. If you drove your car at the speed of light, and you turned your headlights on, would they work?
  9. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  10. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  11. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
  12. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  13. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
  14. Why isn’t the word ‘phonetic’ spelled the way it sounds?
  15. You know that little indestructible black box on airplanes?  Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the same material?
  16. If Krystal’s is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, why is there a lock on the door?
  17. When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
  18. What do you call a defective Milk Dud?
  19. If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
  20. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
  21. Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
  22. If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
  23. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  24. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  25. If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
  26. Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
  27. Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
  28. Do fish get cramps after eating?
  29. Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosylabic”?
  30. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  31. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
  32. Isn’t Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
  33. What is the speed of dark?

For more about stuff to ponder, check out Stuff to Ponder and Stuff to Ponder #3.