Merged Book Contest Winners

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From the Washington Post Invitational contest, Merge-Matic Books:  Readers were asked to combine the works of two authors, and to provide a suitable description of the merged book.

“Machiavelli’s The Little Prince” –
Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s classic children’s tale as presented by Machiavelli.  The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.

“Green Eggs and Hamlet” –
Would you kill him in his bed?  Thrust a dagger through his head?   I would not, could not, kill the King.  I could not do that evil thing.  I would not wed this girl, you see.  Now get her to a nunnery.

“Where’s Walden?” –
Alas, the challenge of locating Henry David Thoreau in each richly-detailed drawing loses its appeal when it quickly becomes clear that he is always in the woods.

“Catch-22 in the Rye” –
Holden learns that if you’re insane, you’ll probably flunk out of prep school, but if you’re flunking out of prep school, you’re probably not insane.

“2001: A Space Iliad”-
The Hal 9000 computer wages an insane10-year war against the Greeks after falling victim to the Y2K bug.

“Rikki-Kon-Tiki-Tavi”-
Thor Heyerdahl recounts his attempt to prove Rudyard Kipling’s theory that the mongoose first came to India on a raft from Polynesia.

“The Maltese Faulkner” –
Is the black bird a tortured symbol of Sam’s struggles with race and family?  Does it signify his decay of soul along with the soul of the Old South?  Is it merely a crow, mocking his attempts to understand?  Or is it worth a cool mil?

“Jane Eyre Jordan” –
Plucky English orphan girl survives hardships to lead the Chicago Bulls to the NBA championship.

“Looking for Mr. Godot”-
A young woman waits for Mr. Right to enter her life.  She has a loooong wait.

“The Scarlet Pimpernel Letter” –
An 18th-century English nobleman leads a double life, freeing comely young adulteresses from the prisons of post-Revolution France.

“Lorna Dune” –
An English farmer, Paul Atreides, falls for the daughter of a notorious rival clan, the Harkonnens, and pursues a career as a giant worm jockey in order to impress her.

“The Remains of the Day of the Jackal” –
A formal English butler puts his loyalty to his employer above all else, until he is persuaded to join a plot to assassinate Charles deGaulle.

“The Invisible Man of La Mancha”-
Don Quixote discovers a mysterious elixir which renders him invisible.  He proceeds to go on a mad rampage of corruption and terror, attacking innocent people in the streets and all the while singing “To fight the Invisible Man!” until he is finally stopped by a windmill.

“Of Three Blind Mice and Men” –
Burgess Meredith has his limbs hacked off by a psychopathic farmer’s wife.  Did you ever see such a sight in your life?

“Planet of the Grapes of Wrath” –
Astronaut lands on mysterious planet, only to discover that it is his very own home planet of Earth, which has been taken over by the Joads, a race of dirt-poor corn farmers who miraculously developed rudimentary technology and regained the ability to speak after exposure to nuclear radiation.

“Paradise Lost in Space”-
Satan, Moloch, and Belial are sentenced to spend eternity in a flying saucer with a goofy robot, an evil scientist, and two annoying children.

“The Exorstentialist” –
Camus psychological thriller about a priest who casts out a demon by convincing it that there’s really no purpose to what it’s doing.