- Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
- Chaos, panic, & disorder — my work here is done.
- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- If I throw a stick, will you leave?
- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
- I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce!
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
- I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
- I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
- Your ideas sound reasonable. Time to increase my medication.
- Does your train of thought have a caboose?
- Do I look like a people person?
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
- Too many freaks. Not enough circuses.
- I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
- I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
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This joke is brought to you by: Laught Break Posted Date: 03/09/2015