A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00. His bookkeeper is deaf and that was the reason he got the job in the first
A tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint British pub to
Wife: “Where are you?” Husband: “At home, my love.” Wife: “Are you sure?” Husband: “Yes.” Wife: “Turn on the mixer.” Husband : (turns mixer on) “Rrrreeereeeereeee…” Wife: “Ok! my love
The CIA, FBI, and the KGB are tasked with finding the Bigfoot in a forest. The CIA show up after a few days and release a 6000-word article on the fact
One day, a father is watching the cartoon with his kid. His kid suddenly turns to him and ask: “If I’m watching cartoons on the couch then wouldn’t they be
There are two friends talking to each other in the bar. A, “Do you know that eating fish contains a lot of Omega-3 acids. It is good for the brain
When I was taking the bus to work this morning. My friend pointed outside of the window and said, “Look at the girl in that car. She is so pretty.”
A lawyer gets pulled over by a police officer. The officer asks the lawyer, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” “I haven’t the foggiest idea,” said the lawyer.
Yesterday, two women in the office were arguing. After they argued for ten minutes, their boss walked out of his office and yelled, “That’s enough! What is going on here?”
A boy and a girl are talking in the school cafeteria. The girl, “What kind of girl do you like?” The boy, “I like girls who are outgoing and humorous.”
One day, a weapon merchant arrives in a new village and tries to sell his spear and shield. One villager walks up to him and asks how good his spear,
Two blind pilots enter a plane. They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on
Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. That’s a hardware problem. Q: How many managers does it take to change a light
A man knocking on every door, looking for help. Finally, one of his neighbor answer the door. “Sir, you have got to help!” said the tearful man at the door.
A girl calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”
“Children,” begins the Pope, “where’s Jesus today?” Little Tommy says, “He’s in my heart.” Little Barry says, “He’s in Heaven.” Little Davey says, “He’s in our bathroom.” The surprised Pope asks Little
A man was caught by a cop with drugs in the bathroom. The man says, “I swear, it’s not mine! I found it here and tried to flush it down
When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. “Have you ever dealt with an attorney?” asked the plaintiff’s lawyer. “Yes.
Q: In which battle did Napoleon die? A: His last Battle Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom of the page Q: River Ravi flows
A man was at a graveyard. He began to moan, “Why did you die. Oh, why did you have to die?” A passer-by knelt down next to the man and
Wife: “What are you doing?” Husband: “Nothing.” Wife: “Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.” Husband: “I was looking for the expiration date.”
A guy finds his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the
A: I have the perfect son B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn’t B: Does he drink? A: No, he doesn’t B: Does he ever come home late? A:
An Asian guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him, “My friend, do you know any martial arts, Kung Fu, Karate
The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not insult you by offering payment. But I would like for
A boy comes home after school. His granny asks him, “How’s school today?” “Grandpa, you won’t believe it! In chemistry class we’ve conducted experiments with explosives.” “Oh and what are
The shopkeeper picks one out and says, “This one can cut down five trees in two minutes.” The lumberjack is impressed by this and buys the chainsaw. Two days later,
A girl knelt in the confessional and said, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” “What is it, child?” The girl said, “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity.
Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy:
Three women applied to work in a bar. The owner asked them, “What would you do if you found some money lying on the floor?” Application 1: “I will take