A lawyer gets pulled over by a police officer. The officer asks the lawyer, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” “I haven’t the foggiest idea,” said the lawyer.
Yesterday, two women in the office were arguing. After they argued for ten minutes, their boss walked out of his office and yelled, “That’s enough! What is going on here?”
A boy and a girl are talking in the school cafeteria. The girl, “What kind of girl do you like?” The boy, “I like girls who are outgoing and humorous.”
One day, a weapon merchant arrives in a new village and tries to sell his spear and shield. One villager walks up to him and asks how good his spear,
Two blind pilots enter a plane. They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on
Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. That’s a hardware problem. Q: How many managers does it take to change a light
A man knocking on every door, looking for help. Finally, one of his neighbor answer the door. “Sir, you have got to help!” said the tearful man at the door.
A girl calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Her
“Children,” begins the Pope, “where’s Jesus today?” Little Tommy says, “He’s in my heart.” Little Barry says, “He’s in Heaven.” Little Davey says, “He’s in our bathroom.” The surprised Pope asks Little
A man was caught by a cop with drugs in the bathroom. The man says, “I swear, it’s not mine! I found it here and tried to flush it down
When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. “Have you ever dealt with an attorney?” asked the plaintiff’s lawyer. “Yes.
Q: In which battle did Napoleon die? A: His last Battle Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom of the page Q: River Ravi flows
A man was at a graveyard. He began to moan, “Why did you die. Oh, why did you have to die?” A passer-by knelt down next to the man and
Wife: “What are you doing?” Husband: “Nothing.” Wife: “Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.” Husband: “I was looking for the expiration date.”
A guy finds his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the
A: I have the perfect son B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn’t B: Does he drink? A: No, he doesn’t B: Does he ever come home late? A:
An Asian guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him, “My friend, do you know any martial arts, Kung Fu, Karate
The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not insult you by offering payment. But I would like for
A boy comes home after school. His granny asks him, “How’s school today?” “Grandpa, you won’t believe it! In chemistry class we’ve conducted experiments with explosives.” “Oh and what are
The shopkeeper picks one out and says, “This one can cut down five trees in two minutes.” The lumberjack is impressed by this and buys the chainsaw. Two days later,
A girl knelt in the confessional and said, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” “What is it, child?” The girl said, “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity.
Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy:
Three women applied to work in a bar. The owner asked them, “What would you do if you found some money lying on the floor?” Application 1: “I will take
A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: One heart is from a young athlete hat died from a car accident Second
Letter of recommendation to the office management: Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found hard at work i his cubicle. Bob works independently, without wasting company time talking
After a professor had finished his English lecture and his class had filed out, a student stayed behind to confront him. “I don’t appreciate being singled out,” he told his
After sending our son away to college, he would too often call up asking for money. One time when he called my husband answered, “Sure we will send you money”,
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!” After a few seconds, one
A man working with an electric saw accidentally cuts off all of his fingers. At the emergency room, his doctor says: “Give me the fingers, and I’ll see what I
1st Guy, “Yesterday, my wife left me for my best friend.” 2nd Guy, “Who is your best friend?” 1st Guy, “Robert!” 2nd Guy, “Since when is Robert your best friend?”