An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. “I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied.
A guy from Tyson Foods arranges to visit the Pope. After receiving the papal blessing he whispers, “Your Eminence, do we have a deal for you. If you change The
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor
A woman went to the doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as
FROM SAN FRANCISCO It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote “This iz a stickup. Put all your muny in
As he reviewed pilot crash reports, my Air Force military science professor stumbled upon this understated entry: “After catastrophic engine failure, I landed long. As I had no power, the
Three contractors were touring the white house on the same day. One was from New York, another from Missouri, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour,
A woman went to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he went inside and told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.
Actual dialogue of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee: Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you? Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect. What sort of trouble? Well, I
An enthusiastic but somewhat unscrupulous salesman was waiting to see the purchasing agent of an engineering firm. The salesman was there to submit his company’s bid for a particular job.
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland. Canadians: Please divert your course
This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU in response to this question: IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW
Only in America! A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against… get this… fire. Within a month, having smoked his
In a recent issue of “Meat & Poultry” magazine, editors quoted from “Feathers,” the publication of the California Poultry Industry Federation, telling the following story: The US Federal Aviation Administration
Two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in New York City. They were talking amongst themselves in Yiddish, the colorful language of
A Jewish man moves into a strict Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday, the Catholics practically go crazy – because while they’re morosely eating only fish, the Jew is in his backyard
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon return, found four males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at
One of our local Members of Parliament (Gillian Shephard) paid a visit to Norwich jail to inspect the place and after her tour of the prison, she was shown to
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now that we’ve caught you, we’re
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was
Over the years, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line staff has had their share of memorable calls – inquiries that stand out from the crowd because they’re heartwarming or amusing. vWe asked
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” Tired of his boasting, his
Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named BOOK. BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on.
An MIT student spent an entire summer going to Harvard football field every day wearing a black and while striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or
The inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the
Each evening, bird lover Tom Rowe stood in his backyard in Devon, England hooting like an owl – and one night, an owl called back to him. For a year,
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture. An enterprising
The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them