A lawyer gets pulled over by a police officer. The officer asks the lawyer, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” “I haven’t the foggiest idea,” said the lawyer.
A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the police came up to
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says, “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.” The woman answered, “Well, I have contacts.” The
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he’s 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy
For more useless facts, click here. A study by University Chicago in 1915, it concluded that the easiest color to spot at a distance is the color yellow. Which is
After five hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he
I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. Aren’t you the guy from the
An old man has a serious car accident with a young driver. The two crawled out of the wreckage and amazingly neither of them was hurt. The old man said,
Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial. It went like this: Attourney: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? Officer: No sir, but
IDIOTS AT WORK I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit
This little poem came about as an exercise for multi-national translation personnel at the NATO headquarters in Paris. English wasn’t so hard to learn, they found, but English pronunciation is
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local pub. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The
FROM SAN FRANCISCO It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote “This iz a stickup. Put all your muny in
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon return, found four males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at
During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. Most dogs are immortal.
You’re too stupid to lead… AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s
According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are “unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,” committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don’t know the first thing about their business. For
Include Your Children when Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Iraqi Head
Some of these are old, but they were all actual laws no too long ago! In Nichols County, West Virginia, no minister shall tell a funny story from the pulpit.
We’ve all been interviewed for jobs. And, we’ve all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don’t bite your nails. Don’t fidget. Don’t interrupt. Don’t belch.
ACTUAL answers given by contestants on “The Family Feud” Name something a blind person might use A sword Name a song with moon in the title Blue suede moon Name
The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible: Coming home, I drove into wrong